A Lament

by Kathryn Parris

Broken lives relationships world

I’m too sad tired worn discouraged

Too much of this world Not enough of you

Trying to control what can’t be controlled Damaging relationships health future

I turn from you and fill my head with comfort ease busy

Don’t think, don’t ponder, Keep the “I’m ok”s flowing, No prayer just resentful questions Why bother anyway

But you stop me, you stop the world Stop hugging a friend hanging out with family running from YOU

Staring at mortality tomorrow? next week? next month? Someone asks “Are you afraid to die?”

Brick wall Screeching halt Trapped Can’t hide anymore

I look up tears flowing Where are you God? How long will you hide your face? It’s a mess down here. I’m a mess down here. I’m weak, fearful, doubting, sinful. And YOU say, I see it too. I’m sad too. There’s a war raging but I will win. There are battles and there will be casualties…. But I never leave you on your own. Even alone in a pandemic I hold you in a hospital bed in your house in your fear, doubt and weakness when you don’t “feel” me. I AM 10  fear not, for I am with you;     be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you,     I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. 11  Behold, all who are incensed against you     shall be put to shame and confounded; those who strive against you     shall be as nothing and shall perish. 12  You shall seek those who contend with you,     but you shall not find them; those who war against you     shall be as nothing at all. 13  For I, the LORD your God,     hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, “Fear not,     I am the one who helps you.” Isaiah 41:10-13